Who are you when no one is watching?

Most of our lives are spent in front of spectstors. Whether we like to admit it or not, a lot of our actions are guided by this perception from others, or as we say in Urdu ‘Log kya kahenge?’ (What will people say).

In a world that lacks authenticity, is chronically online and full of people-pleasing it is increasingly more difficult (and more important) to be true to yourself.

So I’ll ask you again, who are you when no one is watching?

Are you the same person 24/7, or is there a shift when no one is around?

Think about it for a moment. Continue reading and see if this changes your thoughts ↓

It’s a shame how many people never get to experience living alone. During my 8 years of living away from home, alone, I spent a considerable amount of time by myself, with my thoughts.

It was during this time that I figured out what Daanish likes. In other words, I ‘found myself’…

…cringe. I hate that phrase. Anyway,

my routine, lifestyle, pass times, favourite cuisines - I well and truly know what I enjoy. That’s because I spent so much time alone, away from people, I had no reason to do anything ‘to please people’ and I had no worry of ‘what will people say’ so I ended up living freely. For years.

By the time I came back home I was a different person, according to my friends.

I realised during my time away, that I had been living two lives. Two different modes of existence:

Mode 1: My usual self, around family, friends and people.

Mode 2: My real self, alone, away from people and public perception.

In my 8 years, the more time I spent in Mode 2, the more I started to enjoy life. Over time, I purged Mode 1 and started living like my true authentic self - Mode 2.

The version of me with no external influence.

No old friends, no family, culture or peer pressure. Just me being me.

Here’s what I learnt:

I like peace. I like living slow. I like to read, to walk, to write and to create. I don’t go to places or see people unless I really feel like it. I have no issue saying no, respectfully. I protect my time and my peace. I don’t do things to please other people (because you never can). I like to live intentionally, on purpose. I don’t let others dictate my life, speech or actions. I like simplicity.

I could go on and write more, but if you knew me 10 years ago until now, you’d see this change clear as day.

So here’s the point ↓

The person I am when I’m alone is my authentic self.
The one who doesn’t care what people think.
The one who is comfortable saying no.

After all these years of being away, I learned to be like him even when people are around - and guess what? Life got better, Alhamdulillah.

I would say I live a relatively peaceful life.

I don’t engage in drama. I’m very intentional with how I spend my time. I carefully select my invites, gatherings and circles of friends. I know exactly what I like and dislike, and I know which environments serve me best (and worst).

All of this came about because I asked myself the same thing I asked you.

But this time I’ll finish off the question;

Who are you when no one is watching, and why aren’t you always that person?

A little update:

A lot has happened since I last wrote one of these. Here’s a quick rundown ↓

✅ UK University Tour 🎓
I travelled up and down the country speaking to Islamic and Medical Societies on various topics, met a lot of new faces and had a good time doing what I love (public speaking). Good experience, good response and unbelievably tiring. The ‘travel around the world’ life is not as glamorous as it looks! Also, these sessions were recorded so they will be on YouTube soon (SUBSCRIBE HERE).

✅ New Islamic Courses ☪️
I’ll never stop studying. Since Medical School is over, I have time for the following ↓
Islamic Medicine, Islamic Psychology, Islamic Self Development & Aqeedah/Spirituality - I’ve had endless messages about these, insha’Allah, more details on all of this will come in 2026!

✅ Filmed my ‘Medicine Application Masterclass’ 🩺
Launching very soon for aspiring medics - DM me if you’re interested.

✅ 500K on Instagram 🥳
Not that I care about the numbers, but it’s more of a reminder that half a million people found value in my work, which I’m forever grateful for. Allah swt has blessed me with a lot and I’m doing my best to use it for good.

✅ The Muslim Generation Summit 2026 🇶🇦
​Insha’Allah I’ll be speaking here in Qatar. If you happen to be in Qatar do let me know & come through!

That’s enough of an update for now, but I’d just like to extend my gratitude to anyone reading, especially the OGs from the beginning.

PS. In case you weren’t aware, you can reply to this email to share your thoughts on this post. I’m always looking for feedback and thoughts!

— Daanish :)