Every year when I move away from home and I come to university, I face a dip in my happiness. Leaving my family and home to move to a new environment, mentally it’s always a challenge.

I’ve been living by myself for 7 years now and I face the same struggle every time I move away from home and come to university.

Today I’m going to show you:

1. How I deal with the mental struggle
2. My Rescue Regime → For anyone going through mental difficulty

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Acceptance

The first step in dealing with any mental difficulty is acceptance. You have to accept and admit you’re struggling. I wasn’t always the best at this. I wanted to be the stoic, strong and unbreakable man but in reality, everyone faces struggles.

You can’t fix a problem until you accept that it exists.

Obviously, if you love your family, you’re going to feel sad moving away from them. It’s natural to feel like that and it’s okay. Most, if not all people experience this when moving away.

Focus On The Good, Not The Bad

There’s a notion that you can choose to be happy by focusing on the positives. It’s easier said than done, but there is some truth to it. Have you ever been going through a rough time, but ended up dying of laughter with a close friend? In those moments you focus on the good and it’s as if all the pain and negativity leaves your body.

If you were able to apply that to the majority of your time then you’d be significantly happier with your circumstance.

For example, when moving away I enter a new environment and I live by myself. Which means:

• I get to choose my own routine
• I get to meet new people
• I get to see my friends
• I get to have new experiences

I don't get to do that at home as much, so I try to enjoy this independence while I'm living at university. Where I would normally sit in the evenings with my family, I’m able to go to the gym, do creative work and study. That’s not so bad.

A simple mindset shift is to change the language you use in your head. Instead of saying I have to, start saying I get to.

I have to make dinner and study.

I get to choose what I have for dinner and learn something new.

Simply changing the framing of what you’re doing can make a huge difference to the experience. I like to think of it as changing the lens on a camera. Except the camera in this instance is your view on life.

Have A Healthy Support Network

I stay in touch with my family and call them every single day. I try to video call them when possible. I have 4 siblings, someone is always free.

Being open with those close to you is also very important. Whether it's friends or family, if you're going through a difficult time, it's important to share it with someone.

If you have a small issue and you keep it inside you, it builds up over time. What once was very small can end up becoming very big, which is unpleasant and unhealthy.

Holding in negative emotions will make you more reactive. You'll become less patient, snappy and miserable with others. If something is on your mind, learn to let it out and speak to someone.

• Speak to a friend
• Speak to your family
• Write in a journal

When I find myself in a low place, I follow a Rescue Regime. I actually have this written on a piece of paper on my wall as a reminder for when I need it.

Rescue regime: A number of steps that bring you back to a good mental place.

This is what my Rescue Regime looks like:

1. Sleeping without an alarm

If I'm having a bad week and my mental health is not good, I would cancel all of my plans for the next day and keep myself free. I sleep until I feel ready to wake up. If you work then you’ll have to do this on a weekend.

2. Do things that bring me joy

I love breakfast. I love watching movies. During a rescue regime, I make a hearty breakfast and watch one of my favourite movies. I always feel better when I look presentable. Look good feel good. Once I’ve eaten, I get ready and dress as if I’m heading out.

• Get dressed
• Do my hair and my beard
• Make sure I smell nice

Then head out for a walk, go to the beach, or go to a cafe. The weather isn’t always the best, but in that case, I go to a mall instead.

3. Exercise

No matter how I feel prior to exercise, I always leave the gym feeling good. Knowing that outcome makes me exercise even if I don’t feel like it.

4. Pray

As a Muslim, I know that life is controlled by the almighty. On my worst days, I prioritise praying on time, making some time for the Qur’an and sitting in solitude. Before I turn to any friends or family, I turn to Allah.

That's my rescue regime. Simple and easy to follow.

I learned over the years that this is all it takes to make me happy. I urge you to create your own. Look for the activities that bring you joy, no matter how small. On the worst days, do as many things as you can that make you happy and you should end the day feeling better than you started.

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Disclaimer:

Mental health is important. Some people have real mental health conditions like:

• Depression
• Anxiety
• OCD
• ADHD

If that applies to you, while the strategies in this email can help, it’s important to seek professional help from a Doctor/Psychiatrist or to consider trying therapy. Therapists are brilliant at helping you identify areas of your life where you could improve or make changes.

I have a therapist. It’s one of the best decisions I made to speak to someone.

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