The quality of your relationships determines the quality of your life.​
The sooner you realise this, the better.

Btw, that doesn’t just mean romantic relationships.
Siblings, parents, kids, friends, family, community.
That’s the key to a happy life.

Here’s how to improve your own relationships ↓

1. Start spending more time alone with people.​
I noticed that when I visit home, usually all my family are in the same room. It’s rare for me to spend one-on-one time with each person. Life got better when I started making a habit of spending alone time with my siblings and parents.

Speaking to dad, mum, and my mum AND dad at the same time are 3 completely different dynamics. You learn so much about each person from having every dynamic possible. And they learn from you too.

If you have an awkward relationship with one of your family members (I used to!), then it’s on YOU to break the ice and make it normal. The best way to do this is by asking deep, open questions, having long chats, being vulnerable, and honest.

Here are some examples of questions you can ask to start those conversations:
“What’s something you’ve always wanted to do but haven’t yet?”
“What’s a memory from your childhood that makes you smile?”
“What’s the best advice you’ve ever received?”

Shall I scare you into it?
If you don’t make time to connect now, those conversations might only happen during moments of regret or sadness. Don’t wait until it’s too late to open up to your loved ones.

2. Learn about each other.​
Everyone has a personality, likes, dislikes, and different levels of emotional regulation and patience.

You should adapt the way you interact with people based on their personalities. Observe how they react to situations, what topics light them up, or what makes them withdraw. Over time, you’ll start noticing patterns that can guide you in building stronger bonds.

It would be great if we could just live our lives as we please and expect everyone to be good in return, but that is not reality.

Think about the people close to you:
Who is the best listener?
Who likes to talk the most?
Who has the most patience?

You probably had a person in mind for each of those questions, right? That’s how you should adapt your behaviour to others.

The people in the most successful marriages are great at this. They know their partner inside out and know how to break news to them. They know what would make them upset and how to ensure their happiness. That’s how they survive long-term.

3. Learn how to apologise.​
Ego and humility are two areas of your persona you need to address.

Address your ego. Be able to own up to mistakes and apologise fast and sincerely. It’s incredible how a simple apology can de-escalate an argument that could build up into something huge.

It takes humility to admit you’re wrong.

4. It requires patience and might not be perfect.​
There are relationship problems that might take several months or years to resolve. This isn’t something that changes overnight.

Even after putting all the effort in, it might not be quite perfect. That’s natural, and it’s okay.

This is more evident with the elder generation because they’ve reached a stage of life where they know exactly how they like to live their lives. They have beliefs that they’ve held onto for 40+ years, so it’s incredibly difficult and often impossible to change their ways of thinking.

When speaking to them, focus on shared experiences and values instead of challenging their long-held beliefs. The goal is to improve the relationship, not to perfect it.

5. Show gratitude.​
A little gratitude goes a long way in any relationship. Thank people for their time, their advice, or even the smallest acts of kindness. Showing appreciation strengthens bonds and lets others feel valued and seen.

6. Keep in touch, even when far away.​
It’s easy to lose touch with family members when you’re busy or living far away, but frequent check-ins can make a world of difference. A simple call or message can remind them that you care and help you stay connected, no matter the distance.

7. Your next step.​
This week, spend one-on-one time with someone you care about or call a family member you haven’t spoken to in a while. See what happens.

If you want to learn about personality types to help understand your relationships I'd recommend the two books linked below.
I read both of these years ago and frequently think back to the frameworks when understanding people.

​The 5 Love Languages​
​Surrounded by Idiots​

I hope and pray this newsletter helps you make some progress in your own relationships and as always, thank you for continuing to support my content by reading these.

Until next time ✌🏽

Medical School Update 🩺

I finished my Psychiatry placement which was 8 weeks long. I'm now on my next block in infectious diseases. I don't really enjoy this topic, it's just antibiotics. I'm not a fan of drugs, I hate tablets mostly because I can't swallow them myself. But I managed to find enjoyment in this area.

Some (elite) consultants are able to come in, listen to the handover (take no notes), see all their patients (more than 10, also taking no notes) then come back to the huddle 3 hours later and riff off every minute detail about their patient list, the management plan and anything else important. It's incredible.

The skill of having such competence, confidence, attention and memory to do that blows my mind. So once again I've raised the bar of what sort of doctor I want to be. The other day I was with 2 of the juniors and they were in awe at how good the consultants are with what I just mentioned. One of them asked 'How do you get to that level?' and the other slightly more experienced one replied 'You don't, I'll never do that.'

I just stayed silent. But in my head I just observed. This is the fixed vs growth mindset in action. When I see excellent doctors, I fully believe I can also be like them with some practice. It would be a shame to not even try and give up on that happening.

The purpose of this story is not to talk myself big, but to share some traits that I have worked on extensively which have helped me excel in my own life, Alhamdulillah.

1. Self-belief - if you believe you can, you're right, if you believe you can't, you're also right.
2. Take the good in others, ignore the bad - for everyone you meet, try to steal one of their best habits or traits and add it to your own life.
3. Always work on yourself - you'll always have areas to work on so make sure you stop at nothing to level up your own qualities.

Cool Stuff 👇🏽